Beware the Ide(ation)s of March

Ides of March

I’ve suffered off and on with Depression for decades now, and while I can’t really anticipate it, I do have a sense of its rhythms and patterns. I learned early on that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) played a factor–my Depression and its attendant Suicidal Ideation would loom larger in the darker months of the year. It soon became automatic for me to be extra vigilant in February to keep my Depression from spiraling out of control in the coldest and shortest month.

But you can only be vigilant for so long. When March would arrive I’d unconsciously¬†exhale and congratulate myself for my good mental health hygene. Then I’d let down my guard, stop paying attention to where I was going, and inevitably trip and fall into a SAD-induced morass of desolate ideation.

I did this probably three years running before I caught on to the pattern and realized that March was actually the more dangerous month for me. So now I know: be cautious in February, but save the real vigilance for March.